LETTER TO MY FUTURE SELF
Do you ever wish that you could teleport back to the past and wave red flags in the air whenever a negative person enters your life? Almost give yourself a heads up and an insight into what is in store for you if you take a certain path? Many of us want to go back to the past to dwell on our situations and try to change our outcomes, although this isn't always the best idea.
2018 is going to be the year for fresh starts, improved mindsets and better self-care. This year is for forward thinking and focusing more on the future rather than over-thinking what cannot be changed from the past. Last year I compiled a list of 16 things that I would tell my 16 year old self, to this day I still take advice from it and maybe you could too.
Even though I cannot change what has already occurred, I still have control over what is to come, so without further ado here is my letter to my future self.
How are you doing? How is life in the big ol' corporate world treating ya? You've graduated university now, all of that silly stressing about assignments and a grade on a piece of paper, now means nothing (even still, let me know how you did I am very nosey). Still, I am very proud of you for sticking it out through the good and the bad - when you were at breaking point and rang your parents crying saying you wanted to drop out for doing badly on a assignment. Hahaha it is all meaningless now, I bet you feel relived that all of that pressure is now over!
Right now, whenever I picture graduation day I envision it to be one of the greatest days of your life.. a day full of celebration, happiness and achievement. You did that sis, you did that! Did you cry with joy when you walked down the aisle of screaming parents? I bet. Right now you feel negative about how things are going at uni, but hang in there! You will smash it, you always do.
Do you still keep in contact with your friends that you made at uni? (I hope so), have you gone down to visit any of them yet? and did you ever go travelling with Em and Lauren after uni like you said you would?. I know you always wanted to go travelling and visit Bali, so I hope that you had sufficient funds to do so. If not then what are you waiting for?? Lets get planning.
How are Mum and Dad doing? Oh wow they must be getting on a bit now, I hope that you look after them when they need you to, like they have for 20 years of your life. Ever since you started Uni Dad has been giving you lifts back and forth to Bristol, whilst occasionally (during 1st year I might add) driving 40 minutes just to bring you clean washing and a food shop.
Appreciate your parents, they won't be around forever, tell them that you love them at the end of every phone call - as you're writing this you're cringing at the thought of having to show any affection in the slightest. Drop this facade right now, its not cute at all, when you are older you will realise just how silly this sounds. I want you to ring them at least once a week, no matter where you are in the world you must make an effort to contact them regularly. And if you do end up living nearby then I expect you to visit them once a week, minimum. Hahah I wonder if Mum will still have a cup of tea and a bowl of mangos waiting for you when you arrive, will she still have her meditation room in the house and will you two still practice it with each other as much as you do now?
Now the big burning question that we're all wondering here is...are you still single? Have you finally managed to find a lucky (or unlucky) guy who can handle you and your high maintenance character? Have you found someone who doesn't bore you after 5 minutes of conversation and is mentally stimulating enough? Whether you're in a relationship, married or still single by the time that you eventually get round to reading this again, I want you to remember that you are complete on your own, you don't need someone else to make you feel whole. Any lucky guy who gets the pleasure of dating you is an accessory not the outfit! Oh wait you look confused?? Okay, I will break it down for you. They are an addition to your life (major emphasis on addition) not something that your life should revolve around. Remember who matters most to you aka your friends and keep them close.
How is the writing coming along sis? Are you reading as much as you should be? Granted you're currently at uni and you already have loads of assigned readings to do but once you've graduated theres no excuses! I want you to set yourself a goal, I know it may seem stupid but I want you to read a book a month... do you think you can do that? It doesn't have to be 500 page books or massive sequels, it can be a simple poetry book that you finish in one sitting or a 300 page book that takes you a few days to complete.
You know as well as I do, that the best way for a writer to improve on their writing and really grow as much as possible is to read!. Since you re-launched your blog some months ago and finally had the courage to share it with the world, you have received an overwhelmingly positive response from friends, family and acquaintances. If that is not proof enough that you are a good writer then I am not sure what else will be.
Keep at it, stop putting yourself down and don't feel arrogant for admitting that you are good at something, you have met enough arrogant people in your time and you are certainly not one of them. Give credit where it is due, compliment other writers on their work and do as much writing for your Uni newspaper and the Tab Uwe newspaper as you can. Trust me it will really pay off in the future! I one day look forward to stumbling across one of your published books in the shelves of your favourite bookstore, hold onto that feeling you get when you get told that your work is being published. Nothing in life will quite compare to that feeling of fulfilment.
Are you still attending meditating classes every week? I know that recently you have been going twice a week, this can be incredibly hard with a busy schedule but I want you to set some time out for yourself, "me" time as they call it. My precious piece of advice for you here is to make time for the things that you love, don't waste your time and energy on people/situations that you don't want to be in. As cliche as this may sound...life is way too short Leah and you never know what could be around the corner for yourself or your friends/family, don't make the terrible mistake of not making enough time for people and then regretting it in later life.
I hope that you continue growing as a person and moulding into the best possible version of yourself. I hope that you remember me, the younger version of yourself and smile whilst reading this because you know exactly what is in store for your future.
You've got this!
Love from, your slightly naive, immature, younger self